One of my best Christmas presents was 'I think the nurses are stealing my clothes' - a compilation of Linda Smith's funniest moments. Here are just a few of my favourites...

On John Prescott:

I suspect language isn't his first language

On Tony Blair:

I don't want to give him the oxygen of publicity. I'm not too keen on him having the oxygen of oxygen.

On weapons of mass destruction:

I feel sorry for the government really. Looking for these weapons of mass destruction. I'm like that with scissors. They're always in the last place you look. (Pause) Of course, the difference is, I know I have got some scissors.

On Erith:
It's not so much a city that never sleeps as a town that lies awake all night, looking at the ceiling.
It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham.

I left Philadelphia on a day so warm and sunny I felt foolish putting my coat on. I arrived in Manchester on a day so miserable and foggy that the planes were all being massively delayed in case they ran into each other on the runway.

The fog continued for most of the rest of the week, causing absolute chaos at the airports but, fortunately, not on the trains so I was able to get to Oxford and Wolverhampton for fun times with various friends.

On Saturday the jet lag hit. This was slightly disappointing as we were going down to Stratford to see Judi Dench and Simon Callow in the Merry Wives of Windsor. However, by the time we were in the theatre I was feeling a bit more awake and, in fact managed to keep my eyes open throughout (unlike certain other people sitting either side of me). I thought it was a fun production - they'd done it as a musical. I could live with the mock-Tudor set and costumes, though I thought the motorbike and scooter were unnecessary anachronisms. The singing and dancing were generally good - who knew Alistair McGowan could tango? I say he should be on Strictly Come Dancing next year. And the plot is perfect for Christmas - nothing dark, nothing sinister, lots of farce and fun.

On Sunday disaster struck. Well, okay, that may be a slight exaggeration. I got out of bed and trod on a wasp. In December! It's global warming gone mad, that's what it is. Anyway, I spent the rest of the day unable to wear shoes or socks and barely able to walk with my whole foot swollen.

By Christmas Day, the foot was worse and the cold that had been threatening for about a week finally hit. So much so that by about 4 o'clock I was sent to bed with a hot drink by my mother.

A long lie-in on Tuesday, some much-needed antihistamine cream, and by the afternoon I was feeling quite a lot better. And then had the mad idea of making a patchwork top for a quilt that I could bring back to the US and finish by hand. Hmm. 10pm not the best time to start these things.

On Wednesday, Dawn drove down from Liverpool (though it might actually have been quicker to walk) and we went out for dinner (tea). I had proper fish and chips - the memory of which will keep me going for months.

And now I'm back in Glenside. Still sunny. Still no sign of the proper winters everyone claims they have here. Before you know it, it'll be 2007 and I'll be coming home for the summer.

I returned to sunny Glenside (from rainy Manchester) today to find the Oak Hill 2007 Yearbook waiting for me. Interesting to see what changes and what doesn't...

Not sure I like the funky new font for the names - trying a bit hard?

I notice Marc Lloyd's still claiming to be able to recognise the letters of the Hebrew alphabet and makes no mention of having married the lovely Yvonne in the summer.

Neil Jeffers, by contrast, gives us a full update on his life - though I think is a little modest. Surely more theological and physical weight, Neil?

Lots of people have married and lots of others have had children. No surprises there. Some seem to have taken up strange hobbies (beekeeping and falconry, Helen Morrow?) and others have learnt the hard way about putting a 'funny' entry in the yearbook, only to discover that every potential employer in the country reads it (was it Jonty who claimed to have been a lion tamer last year?)

Charlie Styles (surely he should still be at school?) seems to have sneaked straight into the second year and is there really someone called Gerry Straker in the third year who I never once spoke to in the past two years? If there is - I'm very sorry Gerry. Catch up with you in heaven, maybe?

There are two pages of fourth year students! Okay, so only Dave Walker is on the second page, but still a good effort boys.

Didn't we used to have notes about the faculty too? They've gone, but it's good to see Matthew Sleeman among their ranks. I see that Dan Strange is still spending his time trying to explain to people what Public Theology is and why it matters. Nice to see some George Herbert in there, though.

And I'm very excited about Mike, Steve and Sachy's new book.

But mostly I'm concerned that there's someone just on the edge of the cover of the new prospectus who looks like they might be me. Surely not? Peter Wood wouldn't do that, would he?